LOL…. ;-)

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“Hello, is that Saddam Hussein!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is
Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I’m ringing to inform
you that we are officially declaring war on you!”

“Well, Paddy,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?”
“Right now,” said Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself,
my cousin Shaun, my next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team
from the pub. That makes eight!”

Saddam paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begorra!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. “Mr. Hussein, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Saddam asked.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1�
million since we last spoke.”

“Saints preserve us!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you..”
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. “Mr. Hussein, the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Harrigan’s
micro-light with a couple of shotguns, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub
have joined us as well!”

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”, said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya’,
Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Well,” said Paddy, “we’ve all had a long chat over a few pints, and
decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”