oneafrikan.com

We all know that the “geeks shall inherit the earth“, so since that’s a foregone conclusion, I thought this little post was in order…

Mounting geeks for most girls is not an easy task, ‘cos you need something shiny, complex and preferably remotely accessed, to get into geek wide area networks. Macs are as ubiquitous with Geeks as Google is with more normal people, they come in a few lustfy flavours, have a geek sex-appeal that rivals Paris Hilton videos on Limewire, and most importantly are a topic of endless conversation. So when opening a conversation with a geek, SSH is a sure fire bet to get their attention, since it’s something they both use very often, and are intimately aware of. What you want to do is take the SSH from something they think of as “secure” to something more like “Single Sex-mad and Hot”. To do that, you need to mention your file system, which is of course of great concern to the typical Geek - he’s wondering whether you’re FAT, FAT32, NTFS (Not Thinking Full-on Sex), ext3 (external threesomes) as soon as you start speaking, so if you can communicate that as quickly as possible, you’ll get a better network response times - current thinking is that ext3 is the best filesystem to use for your hard drive, and if you’re willing to get into sharing hard drives, then you’ll find his network much faster.

So, all that in mind, you’re wanting to open with something like this:
You: So, you’re a mac user?
Geek: Umm, yea (looking at his shiny new powerbook with lustful thoughts), I’m working on writing some code. Are you?

You: Yea, I’m busy figuring out how to get our company web hard drive working over SSH, any thoughts? I’d be keen to try over lunch later?
Geek: Ummm, so yea, you just go to Lifehacker, there’s a tutorial there - you seen it yet? You’re delicious’d right?

You: Totally, I’ll check that out. I’ve got this friend, and she’s really into threesomes, and she’s coming to lunch later, you keen to join us?
Geek: Ummm, so yea, I’m busy with this code, so I’ll join you after if it works. I’ve not really done three hard drives over SSH yet, so I’m not sure I can help you?

You: Nope, the way your fingers work your keyboard, I’m sure you’ve got some skills that we could use. Maybe we could share some hard drives for a bit to see if we can get our macs hot?
Geek: Ummm, yea sounds good. What do we need your friend for again, we’re just doing ssh?

You: Yea, totally, I’m into the ssh thing. I’d love you to mount my friends drive as well. This friend, she’s really into threesomes, and she’s coming to lunch in a bit, so if you join us we could definitely get our macs hot!?
Geek: Sounds cool, lemme check this code for bugs…

You: OK, so I’ll see you later then?
Geek: Yea, see you later. I’ll be there if this code works out…

Inspired by Lifehacker